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So that seems to be it. Any real friendship with Tommy seems to be gone or something. We’ve really stopped seriously talking, mostly it seems because I am tired of making all the effort. And yes, I’m sure he’s going to see this and react, because that’s what he does.
And frankly, I’m tired of it. I want people to have conversations with me because they hold something other than contempt for me. And no Tommy, you don’t need to talk to me because I said this.
On a different note, I’ve decided a lot of bad things come when I’m not a good place. So I’ve decided I’ve got to happy with what life throws at me. I know that will be hard after my mom moves out, and my dad gets all depressed, but I gotta try, since I know he’s struggled with depression and I don’t want to end where he is. I mean, he’s great, but he has a even harder time than me expressing how he feels, which I’m guessing didn’t help my parents…
My mom is planning out her new house, and I’m a little excited about my second room if only that it means lots of privacy and my own bathroom. But after I go off to college, my brother is going to get my room, and it will be hard coming home over the summer to a guest room at my moms house.
But I don’t really know how to break it to her that I’m not overly interested in having a guest room in the middle of everything as a room where I have to spend half my time. This sounds a little off in the future, I know, but I don’t want to end up spending all summer at my dads and getting my mom all pissed at me because I don’t want to sleep in the spare room.
It’s like I’ll be the spare part when I come home. I won’t really fit there any more, and they are keeping me around for old times sake.
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